Does Family Count?

Tags

affirmation, character, family, plot, story, theme

You know, as reviewers of your fiction.

My dad stayed over night last night and wanted to read my work. I gave him the first scene. It took him awhile to get through the 14 double spaced printed pages, but he did. I got back from a meeting at 9pm, and he asked for more — “You aren’t going to leave me hanging, are you? I have to know what happens next.”

Music to my ears, but was it authentic? Though he picked out a type, is he qualified to give an opinion? Was this an opinion? The trouble with my story is you need to read the next forty pages to appreciate where I go with it. We stayed up until 2am and watched game #4 of the Stanley Cup finals. He read while we watched, asked me lots of questions, and we discussed writing. He has a PhD in music composition so can relate to writing notes, themes, objectives, etc. He is writing an opera, so he understands drama as well. His wife (not my mother) also read it. The gave me more “this is good” and “this is definitely publishable” comments scattered throughout our morning of me being a taxi driver for them.

Yeah, it feels good. My limited queries told me they were affected as I’d hoped, even more so in some regards like the interaction with the woman — “they are obviously going to get together.” Well, maybe.

I have so much left to do. I have spent 80% of my effort on the first 20% of the story. “Arrgh!” So much left to do. So many gaps to fill in. So many plot lines to organize. So much theme to apply.

Have I ever said I think I finally understand my story? I think I know who my character is, why he is the way he is, and how he changes, transforms. I know all the drivers. I know how the ship gets on its journey to the center of the earth, all of the obstacles in its path, how it overcomes them, and how it brings the important people home safely. I know how the hero’s journey should play out.

Sandford Lyne says to write affirmations and repeat them until you believe them. Consider this posting a big affirmation for myself. I will complete this novel successfully. I will get it published. It will generate only five star reviews and tens of millions of sales. Yes, it is that kind of book and I am that kind of writer. I write fiction.

Changes

Tags

author, character, diabetes, focus, novel, personality, plot, riptide, story, theme, unemployment, Writing

You can read David Bowie’s lyrics here and listen to his song here.

I’ve seen a lot of changes in my life. I’ve described this diabetes affliction as a ball and chain, an inhibitor of change. I’ve drug the thing around for nearly 37 years, and yes, it is a heavy burden. But I’ve moved forward. I no longer live with unknown blood sugars, hopelessness, 911 calls, constant late night hypos, or fear. Yes, those were the days prior to me pumping, prior to June 26, 2006. I’ve made major changes in my own health care. I’m now my doctors’ best patient. They shake their heads when I leave the room. I still carry the ball and chain, but I swing it like a grandfather watch. I look at it and ask it what time it is, and I slide it in my pocket as the master of a business empire might.

No, things are not now perfect, but they’re good. I have much more focus and much more confidence. I now call myself one of Canada’s best read authors based on my correspondence in various diabetes forums. I’ve made well over 15,000 posts, some of them quite lengthy. Even a mere 100 words each comes out to 1,500,000 words. Some have been read tens of thousands of times, some over a hundred thousand. That many posts times 1,000 reads each is 15 million reads. If this was my novel writing, I’d be rich and famous. I’m obscure at best. Many posts are fluff, but most are serious. I have fans. People have told me I’ve saved their life. I’ve told people they’ve saved my life, and they have. Their words have. The words they spoke when I asked the right questions. The questions I asked when I changed my attitude. The answers I finally heard when I began listening to others, the real experts, the other diabetics out there seeking help, seeking change.

I’ve learned to write, at least that’s what I tell myself. I am a type B personality. I am the furthest person on the scale my university organizational behavior professor had ever seen. I wish I could remember her name. She was hot. She wasn’t hot in the entertainment sense; she was hot as a person. She was strong, confident, yes she was good looking, but she moved forward with power and grace. She was not a woman young men ogled over. She was a woman young men feared. When she walked through the halls full of students, she didn’t fit in. She stood out gracefully. She never smiled in the halls. In class I could feel her words, her message: learn your own strengths; learn to change. I nearly failed that course. I found it distasteful to surgically categorize people, yet I loved it. It’s the one course in business school I use almost all the time when writing fiction: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, Herzberg’s Dual-Factor Theory, and Vroom’s Expectancy Theory of Motivation stay with me. Dr. Stuart-Koetze’s textbook is the only one left on my shelf. Oh how that shelf has changed over the years too [blog idea alert]. I learned that I need to communicate. I love working on teams with people. I hate sitting alone working on a project — that didn’t sound right for a writer. I also learned I don’t lead by talking. My ideas come to the surface slowly. They perk like a good cup of Folgers, and my ideas are good to the clichéd last drop. Writing suits my soul. I love sitting alone working on a project when I’m tapped into my mind, when I’m free to let my ideas flow. I do think it’s my strength.

I have never looked negatively on change. I look negatively on stagnancy, even though I’m guilty of wearing boots unfit for trudging in mud. I’m a type B personality. I don’t create change for the sake of change; I simply ride the waves and enjoy the ride, trying to steer my board to a beach rather than rocks. I’m good at riding waves, not at finding new, better waves.

And now I’m faced with a new change in my life. I am no longer employed with the firm that employed me yesterday. Technically I still am, but I’m free to stay home and write blogs, drink rum, and play computer games. It’s not a change I’m upset about. It was expected. We used to be a shop of 150 and now about 30. I’m one of the last to go. I’m happy to be moving forward. I admit I needed a push. I have no idea what I want the new wave to look like or go, no, yes I do know. But that approach, that stretch of sand is filled with big, scary sharks and sharp rocks. It’s almost assured I will crash and be swept out to see, a casualty of this wave called life. I want to write. I want to be a writer. I remind myself it’s not the beach that’s important but the wave. It’s the words and ideas and self expression that matter, nothing else.

I can carry this attitude for a while; then I will have to find new employment. Joy. It’s tough writing these words; because, well, I am not a writer. I have no training, no experience, no supporters. When I tell people I’m writing a novel I get the standard “that’s nice John, but what are you really doing with your life” look. My wife is afraid to read it. She’s afraid of breaking John’s heart. My writing group nods passively — I don’t know if they really like it or if they don’t want to upset me with criticism. My friends think I’m just crazy. Novelists don’t make money; they don’t support their family; they have no hope for success. I admit I’m no Stephen King or Ken Follett. I have an impossible task in front of me.

This writing business is a real ball and chain. It’s not the same burden as diabetes. It’s a load I choose to carry. This is not a culmination of a life of experience; it’s merely another fad hobby in John’s life. It’s not hockey [midget AAA]; it’s not chess [CFC 1900 class A]; and it’s not photography. My infatuation will end like all my other diversions have ended. I no longer play hockey or chess. I no longer photograph much. I could drop writing just like that, couldn’t I? I have said over the years that I have a peculiar strength: I can see patterns others can’t. Playing hockey I could see the whole ice and the movement of every player. I had hands of stone, though. In chess I saw more forces at work than most players could see. I’ve surprised masters with my analysis. I’ve beaten a master. Yet I couldn’t easily see the straight route to the king. I find photography a natural fit. I let the lines and shapes fall into position on their own, yet photographing people posing for the shot is a completely mind-boggling task. I really think my strengths are suited to writing: I can see the plots, themes, motivations, tensions, etc. I am also not suited to writing. My focus on the complex story often leaves good writing technique drowning in a riptide as I walk along looking for shells and lost coins.

I wrote last night, and I think I wrote well. I now have 92,201 first draft quality words with 15,492 left to work through. I am planning on making the time over the next weeks to finish a draft of this thing ahead of schedule, get my wife to read it, then if she doesn’t die from embarrassment, get someone qualified in vetting stories to read it. I have two people in mind, both have suggested they are willing to help. But I need some feedback soon, and I need to get this weight off my shoulders. I also need cup of coffee number two and a shower.

Later.

*One of the drivers of wanting to complete this story is its potential commercial viability. I’ll be honest here: such thinking is wrong. I’m writing these words largely to expel them from my head; because they do not belong in a writer’s head. But it’s a big, attractive story. It’s a story any adult in Canada would turn their head at, and I can’t find any equivalents in my head. It’s not a fluffy character-based story where the plot needs to be extracted and can only be seen at the end. My story is not on the level of Harry Potter or Lord Of The Rings. I’m not that pretentious. The Grapes of Wrath comes to mind: it’s a national story, a story everybody will immediately recognize, but it’s a story with attractive bling not dusty destitution. I won’t claim the writing matches the story. I will need an expensive editor. I may need a new author.

Final 20,000 Words

Tags

editing, jig saw puzzle, music, novel, rolling stones, story, Writing

Last night’s session left me with 88,000 words edited of my 105,000 word story. About 150 pages have been through a second edit and 200 or so a first edit. This doesn’t add up to 20,000 left to edit, but I know a few things:
– my ending is wrong. It needs a complete re-write.
– the setup for the ending is incomplete. It needs more internalization, and a character needs to go away.
– the penultimate scene needs a better focus, and I think I found it this morning in the shower.

Many words need to go, many new words need to appear, and it probably adds to much more than 20,000. But I like the number, and there is a reason I like the number.

I started thinking about this story back in 1977 when I turned 16. I received a stereo system for that occasion, and I still run the turntable. I also bought a lot of records that year. My favorite, and still my favorite, was The Rolling Stones’ Beggar’s Banquet. I must have played it a thousand times since then.

One song on that album always caught my attention. I can’t say it’s my favorite tune. In fact, it’s possibly the most difficult for me to listen to. The lyrics are largely non-sensical, at least to me. But it created an image in my head, a radical image of big encounter between 20,000 grandmas and Queen Elizabeth and her Guards. The song of course is Jigsaw Puzzle.

JIG-SAW PUZZLE
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

There’s a tramp sittin’ on my doorstep
Tryin’ to waste his time
With his methylated sandwich
He’s a walking clothesline
And here comes the bishop’s daughter
On the other side
She looks a trifle jealous
She’s been an outcast all her life

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Oh the gangster looks so fright’ning
With his luger in his hand
But when he gets home to his children
He’s a family man
But when it comes to the nitty-gritty
He can shove in his knife
Yes he really looks quite religious
He’s been an outlaw all his life

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Oh the singer, he looks angry
At being thrown to the lions
And the bass player, he looks nervous
About the girls outside
And the drummer, he’s so shattered
Trying to keep on time
And the guitar players look damaged
They’ve been outcasts all thier lives

Me, I’m waiting so patiently
Lying on the floor
I’m just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

Oh, there’s twenty-thousand grandmas
Wave their hankies in the air
All burning up their pensions
And shouting, “It’s not fair!”
There’s a regiment of soldiers
Standing looking on
And the queen is bravely shouting,
“What the hell is going on?”

With a blood-curdling “tally-ho”
She charged into the ranks
And blessed all those grandmas who
With their dying breaths screamed, “Thanks!”

Me, I’m just waiting so patiently
With my woman on the floor
We’re just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle
Before it rains anymore

The imagery of the song overwhelms the melancholic tune and makes it an underground fan favorite. And this image of battling grandmas has stayed in my head all these years.

In the winter of 2010-2011 I had completed my first NaNoWriMo and was searching for a new story. Of course I played this LP during that time and the image came up once again. I let it ferment awhile. I played with it. I played with current events. My coworker Bill and I went outside everyday for a smoke and a political talk. Bill and I share the same birthday and we both photograph. Our personalities contend, and we have interesting discussions. He can be uber-serious, but he always adds his friendly laugh. He’s one of my favorite people to be around.

I mulled over different scenarios that might end up with 20,000 grandmas rioting. Your mind is probably racing right now as mine did, and there are many problems creating such a scenario. I won’t discuss my options or solutions, but this song is the root of my inspiration.

Then one morning in February I woke up with a whole novel in my head, just like that. “Wow” I said to myself; this works. This really works. So I worked it. I worked it a lot, and I’m still working it. It’s an epic plot, naturally, but I think it’s balanced with a strong character and tied together with interesting themes.

*Sigh* I know I want to tell the story to people, I think. I’m still battling the ending. It’s a difficult book to end properly, and I’m sure I will discuss it with my readers and hopefully agents and editors lining up for a cut of John’s book. *wink*

Target date for completed two rounds of edits is still end of September.

My Simple Backup System

Tags

backup, novel, security, story

Data stewardship is important. There’s a saying I like to use: “There are two types of computer users: those who have lost data and those who will lose data.” I take it as a given that something bad will happen, and it has. I’ve owned home computers since 1985, a state of the art IBM AT clone with a 40MB hard drive and maybe 16k RAM. After investing hundreds if not thousands of hours into a story, the last thing I want to see on my computer is a big honkin’ error message telling my story is toast.

We need to discuss objectives first. Not every data solution fits everybody’s needs. I guess I’m a power user. I work in the business and I know how to do things your average Joe could never dream of knowing. But I’m a software guy. I’ve always left backup and recovery to the hardware guys, the server administrators.

I need access to my story wherever I am. I like to write at Starbucks, Magnolia’s Café, the city library, and if I’m on the road, a hotel. I also write in various locations around the house: my office/writing room, the living room, bedroom, or basement rec-room. I’ve even ventured out on the deck, but the light there doesn’t agree with my damaged eyes. *I’ll have to blog about diabetes proliferative retinopathy

I want easy recovery. I don’t want to have to rely on a piece of software to compress then decompress my files. If I need to recover, I want to copy the files. I have tons of backup space. My main rig has three drives. Two are two-gigabyte monsters and the other half a gig. My play box has a single 320 megabyte drive. Not sure what my netbook has. I also use my wife’s laptop. I have more than enough space to make copies, and I have enough boxes to spread the risk.

Lets look at some worst case scenarios. Say the house gets robbed and they steal one computer. My other one, hidden under the stairway, remains. I’m safe. Say the house burns down completely. Oops, there goes John’s novels. Say John’s wife once again leaves a tap running and the flood shorts out his downstairs box. We’re safe. Say a hard drive crashes completely. We’re safe. The biggest risk, from a complete loss perspective, is where all my boxes are destroyed. A house fire, a major earthquake, or maybe a hurricane or tornado are threats. Really only the house fire is, and I suppose theft is as well.

Fortunately enabling access from many points and keeping a backup copy off premise are easy objectives to fulfill. It’s called Dropbox. Dropbox is a cloud service that lets you store files, and it’s free for basic usage. I have a low 2.5 GB of free space, far more than I will ever need for my text files.

I also use another service called Evernote. It’s also a cloud service, but this one is designed to help you track notes. I’m always bookmarking websites, and this helps me organize it and store it. It actually stores copies of the webpages versus a simple link. How many times have you linked to something only to have it disappear on you? Then all your bookmarks need to be clicked on. With Evernote, I can browse all my bookmarks visually. But back to backups.

My primary workspace is Dropbox. That’s where my current files live. But of course I don’t trust Dropbox, not with my bestselling novel. For all I know, I might wake up one day to find it gone, a victim of chapter 11. *poof* No, I copy my files to my own computer drives.

I keep all my data in a folder called “_John” which lives on drive D. I back my files up with simple scripts that run an xcopy command. Here’s the simple steps to create the files:

1. Right-click on a folder, preferably the folder to file your backup scripts in, and create a new text document. Give it an appropriate name and change its file extension to .bat. Bat files will execute when double-clicked. *You can also run a bat file from anther bat file by including a single line with its path and full name.

2. Right-click the new bat file and edit it.

3. Type in the xcopy backup command and close the file.

4. Double-click the file and watch it run.

Step number three needs some elucidation. I assume you are running windows. If you are running anything else, you do not need these instructions anyway. Click the start button or windows button and in the search or run box, type “cmd” and hit enter. A black console window will open. Now type “help xcopy” in the new window and hit enter again. The resulting list shows you what all the switches do. Switches are added to the xcopy command to tell it how to perform in specific situations. I use the “/e” and “/y” switches. The first tells it to copy all subdirectories — otherwise you’ll need to run many, many commands — and the second says don’t ask if it’s okay to overwrite. I run these at night while I sleep, and I can’t sit there and say “yes” to everything. his is not a fancy command, but I don’t have fancy needs. I copy everything and let it run.

xcopy needs to use mapped files. You can’t copy server locations using UNC (universal naming convention) format such as \\servername\filename Let’s run through this process quickly. By the way, dropbox will map itself to your drive, so if you are simply copying from dropbox to disk location, no mapping is involved.

Main Writing Files: Dropbox at D:\_john\Dropbox\Dropbox *only the last folder is in the cloud. D:\_john\Dropbox is on my D drive.

All John’s Data Files: D_\john

Backup on 2nd PC”  We’ll call the pc “2nd_PC” because I don’t want to give out the names of my computers for security reasons. I mapped it to drive J and created a file on it which I shared and called _Backup_Dropbox. Here’s the quick steps.

*note that I like to start data file names with an underscore. It tells me it’s my data and not some file Windows or some stray software created.

1. Create the folder on the target computer

2. Right click the folder and share it. (You may need to enable file sharing. Google it.)

3. On the source computer, where you are copying from, you should now see the destination computer in teh network section of windows explorer. If not, fix it.

4. Browse to your shared target folder. Click on the target computer name listed under “Network” in windows explorer, and your shared folder should show up. If not, fix it. Refer to Dr. Google. Copy the address from the address bar.

5. Find your computer listing, where all your drives are displayed. Right click on the word “Computer” and click “Map Network Drive …” Select a drive letter to map to and paste the name of the folder you just copied. You do want to connect always. Click Finish.

File Location Summary

Location of Work:  D:\_john\Dropbox\Dropbox which is my dropbox cloud share.

Backup target 1 on pc_1:  D:\_john\dropbox\_backup

Backup target 2 on pc_2: j:\_Backup_Dropbox *my shared folder

Backup target 3 on pc_1: E:\_D_JOHN_BACKUP\_DROPBOX

The image shows five copy commands. The first three copy my Dropbox working files to three backup locations. The last two copy my writing folder from D to E. No, I am not yet copying this to pc_2.

So how do I execute this? There are two ways I use. Whenever I think I’ve written a significant amount of words that I don’t want to lose — it may only be a single comma 😉 — I will browse to the file and double click it.

I also schedule an execution each night via Task Scheduler. You need to be an administrator to create and execute a task, so if you are not, try to learn how to become one. You can find Task Scheduler in Control Panel->Administrative Tools. Create a task and a wizard will walk you through the steps. It’s pretty easy. Know where your bat file is so you can enter it into the schedule.

Test your work. First, double click your backup bat file. You should see a window open, and it will display all the files being copied. Resolve any errors. Create a new test file in Dropbox or wherever your main files live, and check the next day whether it got copied.

Remember, you can nest work. I also run backups for all my photos, but it takes forever to run. I only run that script once a week.

Good luck.

Term: Cognitive Dissonance

Tags

alzheimers, cognitive dissonance, conflict, depression, diabetes, diet, food, heart disease, Literary, multiple sclerosis, nutrition, psychology, story, technique, tension, western disease

Definitions:

Wikipedia – a discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions (e.g., ideas, beliefs, values, emotional reactions) simultaneously.

Dictionary.com – an uncomfortable mental state resulting from conflicting cognitions; usually resolved by changing some of the cognitions

Discussion:

If you do not understand what this term means, skip ahead to my later reference sections then come back here. This is not a complete discussion by any means. This is an introduction to the concept and hopefully a collection of meaningful resources.

This term is fairly new to me. I’ve written, discussed, and debated much about diabetes, nutrition, and science over the past six years, and I’ve seen this phenomenon regularly. I’ve seen how it impedes logical thinking and created barriers and conflict in people. As a new creative writer, I think it’s an important concept to understand: our character’s actions may seem completely off the wall, but if based in a fundamental dissonance (idea, belief, value, or emotion) and we show [not tell] the situation correctly, then these actions and conflicts and tensions can become wholely believable and authentic.

One of the areas I see it readily displayed is when areguing the lipid and cholesterol theories. You probably fall into this category too, so feel the tension as I write: Saturated fat and dietary cholesterol is not bad for us. There is no demonstrated science showing they are. In fact, there is much demonstration showing they are vital to good health. The real science says carbohydrates are what’s killing us early: obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancers, brain and nervous system diseases [Alzheimers, MS, Depression, etc].

Can you feel the tension? Every researcher knows I’m wrong. Every doctor agrees with you. The government agrees with you. You agree with you. But the facts all say you are wrong. Since American Food Guidelines were first implemented in 1977 directing [The World!] we eat their way, we’ve only gone downhill, and now it’s catching up with us.

That Worked

So either you believe me or you don’t. There are two reasons: the first is I’m wrong, and the second is you don’t want to believe me or cognitive dissonance. Another fact is tens of millions around the world are now discarding their entrenched beliefs and ignoring their doctors’ and dietitians’ advice, and they are becoming healthier. Your still doubting me. You still think I’m crazy. You don’t believe I eat a 70% fat diet with almost none of the so-called “healthy fats.” I eat real butter, grass-fed meats, and low carb veggies. I eat real cheese and very little fruit. Blah, blah, blah.

You can feel your disbelief. You can hear yourself saying I’m a quack. But you can’t completely throw away what I’m saying: “what if he’s right?” There’s tension in the air and it’s called cognitive dissonance. *I can ovewhelm you with science, but I won’t.

I think it’s important to understand the fictional literary significance.

We can create some very powerful characters and siutations using this concpet. Harry Potter is a prime example. He’s a mild, meek, peace loving kid who just wants to get along, yet he’s expected to be the savior of the magical world. He’s always encountering evil and violence, yet he wants none of it. He’s being thrown out of his “comfort zone” and lives in perpetual cognitive dissonace. Do you empathize with him?

This same struggle is even more apparent with Bilbo Baggins who is the professional thief yet wants only to sit in his hole and eat and drink all day. He goes on to perform fantastical deeds all the while fretting over his insignificant self.

In Dan Brown’s “The Da Vinci Code,” we want to believe in this secret society and in this outlandish story of Jesus, and I suppose many do, yet we can’t pull our way from our belief in both tradition and science. Brown maintains this tension with dissonance to the very end.

This is a very powerful concept. It requires you fully understand the source of tension in your work and apply it consistently. It’s not until resolution that these above stories release the tension. These stories are founded on it.

Now that you understand it, you can recognize it, build on it and around it, and write that best selling story.

Go for it!

Explanations:

Wikipedia – In a state of dissonance, people may feel surprise, dread, guilt, anger, or embarrassment.^[1] The theory of cognitive dissonance in social psychology proposes that people have a motivational drive to reduce dissonance by altering existing cognitions, adding new ones to create a consistent belief system, or alternatively by reducing the importance of any one of the dissonant elements.^[1] An example of this would be the conflict between wanting to smoke and knowing that smoking is unhealthy; a person may try to change their feelings about the odds that they will actually suffer the consequences, or they might add the consonant element that the smoking is worth short term benefits. A general view of cognitive dissonance is when one is biased towards a certain decision even though other factors favour an alternative.

About – People tend to seek consistency in their beliefs and perceptions. So what happens when one of our beliefs conflicts with another previously held belief? The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. When there is a discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors, something must change in order to eliminate or reduce the dissonance.

Examples:

About –

Cognitive dissonance can occur in many areas of life, but it is particularly evident in situations where an individual’s behavior conflicts with beliefs that are integral to his or her self-identity. For example, consider a situation in which a woman who values financial security is in a relationship with a man who is financially irresponsible.

  The conflict:

• It is important for her to be financially secure.
• She is dating a man who is financially unstable.

In order to reduce this dissonance between belief and behavior, she can either leave the relationship or reduce her emphasis on financial security. In the case of the second option, dissonance could be further minimized by emphasizing the positive qualities of her significant other rather than focusing on his perceived flaws.

Links:

Wikipedia
Dictionary
About
*OnlyAGame
*Examples
*Skepdic
*Amazon – Films