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I do not follow directions well.

You’d think I’d be able to, afterall, I am a professional accountant, computer programmer, and I write novels — I’ve written two, published none. I can take care of loose ends. I can track down the stubbornest code bug, reconcile the nastiest bank account, and I can see the forrest for the trees. But I can’t do the little things like follow directions.

I think it’s because my mind wanders. It likes to go places and do things while my body is busy doing something else. They call it daydreaming, and they consider it bad. But you know, I’ve solved some of my biggest problems in the shower.

Tonight I should be following directions, but I’m not. I’m baking cookies, and I’ve never done this before. It’s my first time. By the end of writing this blog, I will no longer be a cookie making virgin.

I’ve baked two cakes in my life, back-to-back chocolate cakes. I did them right after each other, not because the first turned out so well, but because side by side with a chunk of pavement, the first was indiscernable. I’d made a giant hockey puck. Looking back over the directions I discovered I’d mis-read the amount of flour I should have put in. For some reason I put in four cups instead of one, or something like that.

Right now my Paleo chocolate chip cookies are baking, but I didn’t follow the recipe exactly.

Uh oh, the wife just drove in. Now I have a witness! But they smell awesome with five minutes left.

First, we had no chocolate chips, so I looked around and found some raisins and pecans. I weighed the options and used a half cup of raisins and a quarter cup of pecans, picked apart first. Approximately. I think things taste better when they are added with approximation. I like to think my intuition is tuned to cooking.

Next I don’t use sugar, so I replaced the half a cup with a bunch of drops of stevia, a sweet herb that isn’t approved by the FDA because there’s nothing they can find wrong with it. More studies are needed.

The recipe called for a cup of coconut flour; which I used, but I didn’t want flaky cookies. My experience with the stuff hasn’t been good. I wanted a little chewiness, so I added a quarter cup of almond flour, or so. And since I added more powder, I needed more liquid, so I added a fifth egg. It also emptied the carton.

Finally the recipe called … done! brb … They called for coconut milk and coconut oil. My experience with other coconut flour baking is that butter offsets the coconut flavor, so I used mostly butter but added some coconut oil. I probably used too much. And I used whipping cream instead of coconut milk.

I guess my recipe is nothing like the one I started with.

Well they smell good and look good. Taste is rather subjective.

They are a LITTLE dry. Coconut flour does that, and they could use more sweetener, much more.

But they are … edible.

Thank God I still have hot coffee in my pot!